Chapter 15 – Dungeons & Dragons

Last time on BTF: The chasing of deer, a double whammy, and the chiding of an angel were the main topics on the table. The heroes have traveled from Gr8’s house to The Twins and said goodbye to grom and Dirt as they enter the mountain that once housed a kingdom of dwarves in hopes of making contact.

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When we began to enter the western twin, I noticed Jupe’s wolf companion was no longer with us.

“What happened to her?” I asked him.

“She’s helping grom and Dirt protect Gr8’s house,” said Jupe a little apprehensive, “plus she’s got her eye on a golden lab of his.”

“Everybody just needs a little lovin,” I replied.

“As you enter the mountain of the dwarf, the night air becomes cool and damp. A fog thickens and wisps into your subconscious. It flows like syrup creeping over the ground and whitens the world out until you are all alone!

“Then you make out a sound. Nearby, but out of sight. It’s a rapid sniffing, like an animal testing the air you have invaded. Testing its prey.”

We all looked back at Lil Skold.

“Will you shut the hell up!” cried Burnsy. “You’re giving me the creeps and we aren’t even in the mountain yet!”

Lil Skold shuffled the papers he was reading from. “S-sorry! I was just reading from grom’s journal and maps he gave us. Thought it would give us some perspective.”

“The only perspective is FPF. First Person Fist as it flies towards your head.” muttered Jupe.

“Get behind me, Skold.” Gunblaze stuck out his armored chest. “The only thumpin’ that grizzly will be doing is against one of the bad guys.”

“Skold’s right.” agreed Chuck. “grom’s journals and maps of the interior of the mountain are going to be invaluable for our quest. Someone is going to have to keep us on track. I’d rather it be a non-fighter.”

“Then Skold is definitely your man,” I quipped.

Over the past five cycles, grom had been scouting, remembering, and collecting maps of the inside of the dwarven twin mountain for just an occasion like this. He noted that the top half of the mountain was where we would find the most resistance in terms of sheer numbers because that’s where most of the creatures resided.

On our travels here, grom told us rumors that a dragon lived somewhere inside the catacombs and was blood red in color. My brain tried to shut down after he mentioned that it did indeed possess a deathly breath of hellfire. Where mileena was in the mountain remained a mystery. grom probed all his sources but had not heard of a human female, captive or otherwise. Made me wonder if Chuck’s sources and hunches were truly in the mountain or were we here just to be the main course for a dragon’s dinner.

Our secret passageway into the mountain was quite narrow. One abreast went through and about twenty feet into the passage it narrowed to where we had to turn our backs against the wall and scoot through. The secret corridor came to a “t” intersection with another hallway.

“Skold?” asked Chuck who was at point. We all climbed out of the crevice opening into an obviously tunneled hallway. The floor was smooth and the walls had sconces spaced out every twenty feet. Most of the sconces had torches burning in them to provide ample light.

I nodded to Jupe at the lit torches.

“We know there’s still someone here that needs light.”

Jupe sniffed the air. “Yeh. Been a patrol here in the last ten minutes or so. Five or six of them.”

HS kneeled down to the ground and rubbed his hand on the ground.

“Seven. Boar-like creatures that walk upright. Nine minutes ago. A patrol comes by…every fifteen minutes.” HS stood up next to Jupe who stared right at him. Jupe sniffed.

“One was a female who was on her period. Can you beat that?”

HS looked at Jupe and then down what appeared to be the ground. He looked back at Jupe.

“eng was the last one to rub your belly hair.”

HS walked back to look at Skold’s maps.

I patted Jupe on the shoulder. “You know, he’s right.”

Skold finally answered Chuck’s query.

“Mess hall to the right, officers’ quarters to the left.”

Chuck put his hands on his hips. “Don’t want to take on the numbers just yet.”

I looked forward past Chuck. “Maybe we can get some info from the officers. Keys or clues. Something. I’d rather not deal with a mass killing right now.”

“Agreed.” Chuck looked at the group. “HS and Jupe, you have the point. Myself, eng, Butress, Burnsy, Skold, then Gunblaze. We are on stealth mode as of now. Watch for my signals and for chrissake don’t touch any statues.”

All of us heightened our senses, watching for any movement in the shadows, hearing for any scrapes, and Jupe smelling for any enemy that may be near. The hallway sloped downward slightly was almost a perfect semicircle, the rock worn smooth, a testament to the expertise of the dwarven miners.

The hall curved around and I could hear Skold whispering, reading what might lie ahead.

“Twenty yards to officers’ quarters,” he whispered.

Up at the point, Jupe held his hand up. We inched our way up to him as he tilted his head to one side.

“Door’s up ahead. Past that…” Jupe sniffed, “…food…plates and silverware clanging.”

“Damn, another mess hall.” Chuck rubbed his forehead. “I was hoping not to get into a slaughter.”

HS stood next to Jupe. “Lot of footsteps. They’re just arriving. Other mess hall’s probably the same.”

Chuck sighed. “Let’s take care of our immediate concern.” Chuck nodded towards the two doors standing opposite of each other ten yards away.

“Burnsy, you’re up. Skold read what we may find in here.” ordered Chuck.

As Lil Skold flipped to the pages, Burnsy crept up to the door. Everybody lined themselves up against the walls next to the doors.

Burnsy reached into his pocket and took out a small black box and laid it down on the rock floor. Skold started to read quietly:

“This 20×20 room houses the two officers that train new recruits. A bunk-bed, two wooden dressers, a table and chairs, and a weapon rack are all that adorn this room…”

Burnsy opened the box and revealed his lock picks. He looked underneath the metal knob and lock. He looked up at Chuck and mouthed the words “locked” and “trapped”. He slid a pick with a slight hook on the end into the bottom of the lock. Had we not all been holding our breath, we wouldn’t have heard the slight click that came from the lock.

Burnsy froze. Listening for any movement from the room. Chuck started to draw his long sword in anticipation. Burnsy let out a breath and reached down for another pick to get to the lock.

“Any distraction will immediately alert the other two officers in the adjoining room.” Skold read on.

Chuck pointed at HS and Gunblaze to flank the other door across the hallway.

Burnsy looked at Chuck. In response, Chuck nodded for him to proceed. Using two picks this time, Burnsy started his surgery. Jupe moved to the other side of the door. Seconds went by. Burnsy stopped and left the picks hanging in the lock. He wiped the sweat from his hands on his pants and stared at the lock. He drew in a breath and continued. As soon as his fingers touched the picks there was a distinctive click.

Burnsy smiled and looked up at us. “Hey, I’m getting pretty good at this!” He whispered. He looked down at his bag and the door started to open.

“Hey, don’t open…it…yet…” He looked straight at the kneecaps of two orc officers.

One of them smiled thinking Burnsy was the only one there. Chuck let them know he had friends by turning the corner and plunging his sword into the first orc’s throat. The second officer saw Gunblaze and HS standing guard of the other door and seeing his partner go down in spastic gurgles decided to go a different route. Running.

He turned and ran toward the back of the room.

Burnsy from his vantage point saw the object he was going for; a conch in which to alert the whole level of the mountain.

“Oh no you don’t!” hissed Burnsy. From a crouching position he leapt and tackled the orc around the ankles. The officer kicked Burnsy in the head to try to get free but he held on.

“Little help!” hissed Burnsy as Jupe came running in, raised his battle axe and decapitated the creature in one swing.

There came grunt and a click from the other door. Gunblaze and HS tensed in anticipation.

Jupe stared at the headless body of the orc twitch. “Lookee. Cool.” He hefted his ax onto his shoulder.

The door across the hall swung open. A second passed and a green arm and hand reached around the corner to grab Gunblaze by the neck.

“H-hey! No fair!” gargled Gunblaze as he swung himself around to face his attacker. Face to face they tried to gain leverage. Gunblaze lowered his body by bending backwards. This caused the orc to bend forward as he brought his other hand around and grabbed Gunblaze’s neck.

Gunblaze continued to lower himself until he dropped to the floor. The orc would have fallen on top of Gunblaze had the Paladin not put his feet up and planted them on the orc’s chest. Now on his back, Gunblaze fluidly lifted the orc up off the ground and leg kicked him backwards.

“Catch, Jupe!”

The orc rocketed through the other room where Burnsy and Jupe where inspecting the first two kills.

Jupe eyed the flying body, hefted his ax behind his head and flung it straight at the orc. It landed with a *thunk* with a shot between the eyes and caused the orc to land on top of Burnsy.

“Little help!” cried Burnsy again.

Meanwhile, HS swung around and faced the lone surviving orc who was standing a few feet back from the doorway. HS measured him.

“No need to fight. You cannot win. I have studied and trained with woodland fighters and have calculated and enacted counter attacks to the three thousand one hundred fifty-two moves that orcs make. Surrender now. Or die. Your choice.”

The eyes of orc went from HS to each of us in turn as we stared back at the beast. The eyes grew to slits, an exhale of air from the snout. Barely a flinch arose from the orc when HS chopped at the orc’s neck and destroyed the monster’s windpipe. It went to its knees clutching its throat and died of suffocation.

“Twenty-six.” said HS. “They ALWAYS choose twenty-six.”

In the other room, Chuck ransacked the place looking for any clues, maps, or keys that would aid us in finding a direct route to mileena.

“Hurm.” grunted Chuck. “Nothing.” He looked around the room. “Shouldn’t be too surprised. Okay, Skold, anything other than the mess hall to work with?”

Skold looked down at the maps and journal. “Nope.”

“How many exits out of that room?”

“Three. One of them is to the other eating room.”

“Okay, troops, listen up. Butress, twenty feet from the opening to the mess hall, I want us all invisible. We’ll walk around the perimeter without provocation to the other exit. Space five feet apart, keep moving so we don’t bump into each other. Any questions?”

“Yeh,” said Burnsy as he lifted himself up from the body and rubbed his bruised head, “how do we get out of this chicken shit outfit?”

“You die.” Said Chuck as he exited the room.

We walked out of the room and started towards the eating area. As we neared the opening to the hall, Butress started to whisper his incantations and made slight hand gestures. Skold was whispering to himself the make-out of the room to see if there were any surprises. I was actually glad he was along taking care of that. One less thing to worry about.

“Get ready.” whispered Butress. Two more swings of his arms and we were invisible; to ourselves and to each other.

Jupe and HS were again at the point and as Chuck and myself rounded the corner into the mess hall where dishes clanged, forks scraped, and voices were talking, I looked down the wall and heard Jupe ten feet away hiss…

“Oh, shit.”

I looked over at where he was supposed to be. Nothing apparent was wrong. Then I looked out into the hall and saw what he must have been commenting on.

Dark elves.

The hall was full of them. At least fifty of them were sitting, eating, lounging around long wooden tables with benches at the sides.

“Skold.” hissed Chuck. “Get over to me and talk to me.”

I heard Skold slide across the wall and stop.

Barely audible Skold said, “Um, from what I remember, aversion to sunlight, magical resistance, most have the capability of spell casting, strong warriors adept in the fighting of swords, and…”

I heard Skold gulp even above the clatter of the room.

“…oh my…dear.”

The room got suddenly quiet.

“Infravision.”

I looked into a hundred eyes that bore into my soul. Pondering what they saw, wondering who we were, and what their next move would be.

“Butress,” Chuck said in a commanding voice, “release the spell.”

A moment passed and we were all visible again.

“Let them look death in the eyes.” growled our leader. “Let’s do it!”

As we drew our weapons, one hundred eyes looked down to their own weapons and prepared to kill the ones that had intruded into their own home.

-Next….”Siege!”