Chapter 5 – Chuck

Last time on “Beyond the LAN” our mystery man begins his army of darkness using what appears to be the blood of living beings as our heroes bask themselves in the atmosphere of Fyl’s, Burnsy’s bar. Butress and HS were strutting their stuff “switching parts” when a familiar unwelcome guest arrived at the front door…Chuck. Let’s get to it, shall we?

************

I always had a fear of flying, but yet I always dreamed of floating through the air passing in and out of clouds just to see what they felt like. Gliding around skyscrapers, passing by office windows and then out to the country where I could follow an eagle scouting for food and diving at incredible rates towards unsuspecting prey. The sounds people on the ground made, the air rushing past my ears, the weightlessness.

It was quite like the feeling I had when I leapt out of my chair from a sitting position. My augmented legs exploded forward and my arms reached outward. As I flew towards Chuck, I used my arms as a scope as I peered down them to make sure my hands were in direct correlation for a good strangle hold. Looking down for a second gave me that flying feeling as I passed over several tables, patrons ducked, beer flew, ladies pointed. Cocky, I almost gave one of them the ole gun and wink but then my mind reminded me of one thing….

*Of which I SLAMMED against*

…mileena.

I’m sure you’ve all seen somebody put their face against window and press. They believe it’s hilarious, while it really makes them look like a jack-ass. Chuck was getting a good view of my half-turned head doing just that.

He knelt to my level as I slid down mileena’s shield to the floor. “Have I taught you anything?”

Picking myself up I pointed into the shield wall which bent my finger. “YOU are goddamn lucky! I oughta pound down this shield but I’m afraid it might hurt mil!”

“You can try my overreacting stud. Don’t think I didn’t notice you looking to see if the ladies were watching as you tried to show off.”

I stopped dusting off my pants. “How DARE you come in here and act as if nothing has happened these last three years! You disappear without a trace, while I’m fending off,” I hold up the necklace the recently deceased vampire had on and shaking it at him, “god knows what! Responsible for a town of over 12,000 protecting them and their children. Putting up with Burnsy over there and his black market dealings…”

“Totally legit!” yelled Burnsy in the background.

“…AND…”

“HOLD IT!” Chuck put his hands up and smiled. “Jeez, man! We’re not married. I don’t have to call in every time I take a pee. Besides…”

I felt Mileena lower her shield and Chuck took a step towards me. He looked me straight in the eye.

“I found her. I found mileena.”

**********

Chuck slammed down maps and other pieces of parchment on the table where Jupe, Burnsy, and Gunblaze were sitting. Gunblaze still had yet recieved a drink from Jonesy.

“It’s all there.” said Chuck. “I’ve been searching for clues, asking the local farmers, and traveling in and out of lands far away.”

“Without my knowledge?” frowned Burnsy.

Chuck smirked at him. “Boy, your little world is just that. Little. To prove my point…” Chuck turned to Jonesy. “Jonesy! What underwear did Burnsy sleep in last night?”

Jonesy peered over and poked his chin up a bit. “I’m afraid he didn’t sleep in any.” He went on to dry more glasses.

Chuck turned his head to look at Burnsy who was breathing through his mouth.

“Whu?” coughed Burnsy.

Chuck walked around Burnsy to get a better view of the maps. “Careful, you might trap something inside that gaping hole of yers.”

Burnsy shut it with a snap of his teeth. He held out his arms towards Jonesy. “Jonesy! How could you?”

Jonesy shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry, boss, gotta feed the family.”

Burnsy started to vibrate. He scrunched a fist at Chuck. “OH! You are going to get it. Just how many men of mine DO you have?”

Leaning over the maps Chuck replied. “How many do you have?”

“Two-hundred fifty.”

“Does that count yourself?”

“No.”

“Then two-hundred and fifty.”

“GAH!!” Burnsy continued to sputter as he *fwuphed* down into a chair.

“Ok, here’s what I have come up with. Windhaven is down on the Southeastern border. The city itself is almost a penninsula that juts out into the Clandestine Sea which extends out past the map; so that eliminated one direction. North was my first choice but I found or heard little after traveling for days. It was mostly swampland that slowly leaks out into the sea. West was where I came across a few tales and stories when put together sounded like a possibility. A woman with a strange tongue or accent, strange clothes. Blinding lights. Portals. Farm people love to tell their stories, makes them feel important.”

He looked up at us. “You followin’ me?” We nodded.

I was looking at Chuck’s back while he described the all too familiar terrain of Acadia. Somehow latched onto him, almost riding piggyback, was mileena’s spirit, her soul, using Chuck as a carrier in order to keep her alive. She was a good magic user on Earth, without the confines of a human body, she was a powerful being capable of destroying city blocks and wrecking havoc on weather systems. The problem was two-fold: one, she wasn’t human and not the lovable, beautiful person we all knew in this form and two, she didn’t choose this. She was killed and the only way Chuck knew to keep her alive was to separate the two; body and soul. He never told us the full story, he briefly said he hid the body to keep it away from her enemies. Little did he tell us that he sent her to another world.

“I trekked farther West by Northwest, always feeling like I was being watched. I never could lose them even when I got into the mountain range.”

“Elves.” said HS.

Chuck nodded. “Most likely. But I never got close enough to even see them. This particular range of mountains has a system of caves so complex, it took me close to a year to explore most of the system. I was truly about to leave the caves. I was exhausted, fed up, and ready to quit. I was packing my bags inside a larger cavern which I thought was impenetrable, if someone came in I would know about it. I noticed this on my backpack.”

He held up an object that was white, six inches long, triangular, but curved to a nasty point on the end. “This.” He laid it on the table.

Gunblaze furrowed his brow. “What’s that?”

Chuck looked at all of us. “A dragon’s tooth.

It took a while for any of us to take another breath, but the action eventually did happen. Burnsy was the first to recover.

“They ain’t supposed to be real, C.”

“Neither were demons and angels and you’ve met one or two in the past coupla years.” replied Chuck.

“Hell,” grunted Jupe, “no offense to eng, but if there’s vampires running around Chicago claiming to be the disciples of the twelve disciples, there’s dragons in Acadia.”

Butress nodded to Chuck. “So what is it you are saying? The elves, by leaving the tooth behind, told you that mil was near and so was the dragon?”

Chuck leaned on the table and looked at the maps again. “Can’t be coincidence. She may be in its lair, in danger of being discovered by the dragon…could be any one of several scenarios.”

Gunblaze stood up and flung his chair backwards. “Dragon’s tooth! That’s what that is!”

Jupe crossly looked at him. “Have you been getting enough sleep?”

A pause. Then I spoke up. “And you brought us to the bar and to help you see if she’s there.”

Chuck tore his eyes away from the maps and looked me in the eye. “Yes. That is why I have come. To ask for your help. Are you happy?”

“That you again put our lives in danger for your own means?”

Chuck held up a finger. “Hey, I didn’t ask to join your little band of merry geeks.”

I got up into his face. “That’s right! Which leads me to believe that all this time you thought us to be the best kind of soldiers in your little war…cannon fodder for your own little jaunts!”

HS came inbetween the two of us. “Okay, you two, my dick is bigger’n both of yours put together so let’s de-puff our chests.”

Chuck didn’t take his eyes off my stare but addressed the others. “Think about it. Where there is a lair, there’s riches. When there’s a dragon killed, there’s fame. Where there’s mileena, there’s a chance to go home.”

We all perked up.

“Wait, how to you figure that?” asked Butress.

“Match your skills with hers and you just might be able to create a rift to the Earth.”

“The Earth,” I said, “is gone. Lest you forget Armageddon happened when we came here. The planet has been destroyed.”

Chuck looked at me and his eyes sparked and smiled. “Did it? Has it?”

“Hell,” piped up Jupe, “no offense to ‘I-like-twelve-year-old-wives-whipping-my-butt-hero-boy’ over there, but all a man needs is money and sex.”

Gunblaze pointed a gloved finger at him. “Listen, Grizzly, I’ve had enough of your taunts! They are tiresome and uncalled for! I will…” Gunblaze slumped his shoulders, “geez she’s young, ain’t she? Damn.”

Butress looked at Jupe. “A man needs a bed to sleep on.”

Jupe smiled. “That’s where the sex part comes into play.”

Chuck looked at Butress and HS. “For you two, the chance to discover more about the elves and magic.” He then looked at me. “For you, a chance to save a life.”

Ok, he had me there. I knew he didn’t mean it. That it was for MY benefit, I mean. I knew it was a line. I knew it was a scam. But I bit. I loosened up my stance a bit and swiveled to look at HS. “There is no cotton-pickin’ way yer schlong is bigger than mine.”

HS shrugged. “Think what you want. But you really don’t think HS stands for ‘HelterSkelter’, do you?.”

I smiled and turned back to Chuck. “You bastich. If any of us gets killed on this…”

Chuck held up a hand. “Just bill me, alright?” He then looked at the group. “You’ll need camping and climbing equipment. Horses will take us most of the way, but the last third is rough.”

I gathered all the used glasses and set them on the bar close to Jonesy and turned back to Chuck. “You got a plan for all of this?”

He slapped my chest with the back of his hand. “Yep. Kill us a fucking dragon, rescue mileena, get us home.”

I smirked. “Best plan we’ve had yet.”

Burnsy was making arrangements with Jonesy about the bar, Gunblaze and Jupe were putting on their respective clothing, Butress was checking his bag while HS was recovering the good arrows he shot beforehand.

“We need suit up music.” I told the group.

Gunblaze put on his helmet. “Ah, as we’re traveling Lil Skold will play us a song or two that will make your nipples pointy!”

“Lil Skold?” I asked.

“Not that little biznatch! He is not coming along with us!” yelled Burnsy.

“Yes he is! He is my squire and I need him to carry all my swords.” replied Gunblaze.

“Gunner,” said Jupe, “he almost was killed by a lamb when he tried to tease it. He can’t possibly carry any of your weapons.”

“It was a rabid lamb. Have you ever fought a rabid lamb? Vicious sumbitches!” Gunblaze said as he put on his gloves.

We all walked out the front doors heading for our respective dwellings to get our gear. Burnsy went up to the girl who screamed every hour on the hour.

“Yer fired!” shouted Burnsy.

“Fft!” retorted the girl. “Honey, I don’t work for you. Do I, boss?” She looked up a Chuck.

“You’re doing fine, Mikita.” he said.

Jupe and I noticed something at the same time because he tensed up as I said?

“We have company.”

From the shadows came armored men wearing the Queen’s colors. All had their short swords brandished. They came from both directions on the street as well as from the three alleyways that were our only possible exits. I counted at least thirty men, but more may have been in backup. Four men on horses trotted up and came to a stop ten feet in front of us. By their markings there were two captains and two majors. Pretty good showing.

I leaned over to Jupe. “I knew you shouldn’t have roughed up those soldiers!” A grunt was all the reply I got.

One of the majors spoke. “The City Council would like to see the owner of this establishment. A one, Burnsy, or Fyl, or the fifty-two other aliases you go by. The Queen wants The Enigma.”

I leaned the other way to Burnsy. “Takes a whole council to see you…you must have the dick of several men.”

Chuck stepped forward. “I’m sure whatever the kindly Queen needs of them can wait for, say, a few weeks?”

This made one of the captain’s red in the face. He spurred his horse to make it jump right up to Chuck. “Are you refusing the Queen’s order, citizen?! I hope so, because I have had enough of you and your rogues’ disrespect!”

Unmoving Chuck replied. “You best back that horse up, son, or you may find yourself closer to the ground than you want to be.”

I heard Butress quietly start to conjure up a spell.

The captain and Chuck stared into each other’s soul for several heartbeats. Even though the captain was mounted he easily unsheathed his sword in a blur. It went right for Chuck’s neck, but was intercepted by his bare hand. Not wanting to give up his sword, the captain held on tight which was all the leverage Chuck needed. He pushed the sword to the side and downward dismounting the rider in one move.

Butress let loose his spell, an aerial light spell which illuminated all the rooftops. Adjusting to the light, I then saw our own backup. Fifty to sixty men and women, including Mikita on the street, now had bows knocked and aimed at the infantry and horsemen. From the alleys and the bar they came.

I noticed Chuck had discarded the weapon from the captain’s hand and was pushing his forearm into his throat. I then noticed that the queen’s men had not thrown down their weapons and looked ready for a fight.

“Well,” I quipped, “isn’t THIS interesting?”

-Next, the Queen!

• This topic was modified 4 months ago by engma.